Twirling Petals

Between my fingers, I slowly twirl
the way I’ve done before,
white petals like the pinwheel
that may in turn propel my heart
and set in motion in the universe
the dreams I’ve protectively harbored, 
but now I realize, those dreams have been
all granted by the stars,
so the only thing that fades
in the mist of heaven’s clouds
is my grip on hope
for I can release the hold
now that I have been delivered
to your arms. 

Too Soon To Title

You can find me among the wildflowers
in the golden light;
this is one of the few things I know
about where my soul resides. 

You’ll carry the scars;
they make you who you are, 
but rarely will they remind
of the battles you thought you lost
when you slipped through 
that presumed eternal hole
inside.

He lies. 

That’s all you need to know
for now.
God hears your prayers. 
Oh, broken child, 
please get up from the
cold, hard ground. 
I’ll be the one
to hold you for a while. 

One day,
so genuine and bright
will be
your smile. 

Seeing you here
on this pivotal day, 
your hemorrhaged
soul upon the tile…

This is it, my love.
The epitome of
raw, awakened denial. 
The tomorrow 
you consider
giving all hope on…
well, even the greatest
of fighters fall before
the rise. 

You don’t have to
dry your eyes. 
I just came by
to let you know
God does indeed
send you the one
to do more than 
have and hold;

he’ll show you how
to love yourself,
and with that gifted key
you’ll unlock every
chain and door,
be able to go
wherever you want,
for home is not
a destination
but who you are
when you

find me among the wildflowers
in the golden light. 

A poem to deliver to my 2018 self. 
A poem for those like me then. ❤ 

Blooms & Moods

White and ivory blooms,
intact with their earthy roots,
just right in the soft sunlight,
will always be my favorite
for the way my soul connects
to a home I know I once
knew…

And the bright yellows
that herald in spring,
flower trumpets
kicking off the jubilee,
insisting that every face
turn toward the sun
and celebrate –
those do make my heart
leap!

But when it comes to romance,
kiss me beneath the softest, silkiest pinks,
like the subtle blush of our cheeks
just after our lips brush,
having found the perfect song
among the scented breeze of the trees
that shelter and witness our sweet
love.

Poem and images ©LauraDenise

Sunny Blooms

It’s sooooooo dismal out there! People’s weather. 

The holidays are always toughest for me. I hit my latest low the minute they “ended,” when I let it all out. Just too many inner truths surface and get ripped open that I like to keep neatly wrapped the rest of the year and stashed away in the closet… but I made it back. And I came back stronger than ever. Funny how it seems it needs to work that way; the lowest lows, not survived but surmounted, climbed, seem to bring us to the highest heights, reward us with the wings even, to fly. Without the lows, we can never truly experience, let alone appreciate, the highs, and I sure do love the highs. Would you give up both for a forever flatness?… I don’t think I could.

I did more than survive that last round, though the sirens lured me in again. This time, I remembered I was part mermaid and eventually high-tide-tailed it out of there. Boy, were those sirens ever surprised! I swam away; I want to naturally say back to the light, as I, like many, have fallen into favor with the analogy of darkness and light. One of my favorite song lines is, “If I could turn back the clock, I’d make sure the light defeated the dark” (Calum Scott). I can’t even type it without getting goosebumps. I am one who can put a song on repeat indefinitely and just stay forever in that powerful moment and zone. It does bring to mind how powerful that zone can be, and how we really do need to pay attention to what we have on repeat and also make sure that if we are playing a broken record, we don’t lose sight of the needle; my whole life was that metaphor for so long…

I would also like to defend darkness; not all darkness is bad. I strive to start every day in darkness; I simply must be up long before dawn. It’s my me time, my writing time. I keep the lights off, and my fingers gravitate like moths to the laptop light to begin their beautiful dance ritual, witnessed by the waning moonlight. The pup continues dozing beside me.

When it comes to natural darkness, let us also never forget, we are lovingly gifted the stars and moon, to guide us, to talk to, to dream upon, to comfort those scared of the dark. And like the lows, how can we appreciate the magnificent beauty of the waking morning colors if not for that contrasting black backdrop canvas? I feel I am always first in line to witness the sun rise, and I never take for granted that it does. To know the light will always faithfully and unconditionally return!… 

People’s weather out there though… Sheesh! Work morale is sooooo low. All year this year. We are normally the undefeated champs when it comes to good vibes. The students too…they are zombies I cannot wake up. The other day, a gray and rainy one, I crossed paths with a former student in the grocery store parking lot. He exclaimed, “No way!!!” repeatedly at seeing me, face lit up like a thousand suns, as he got out of his car, as giddy as a toddler on Christmas morning, to hug me in the rain. That’s what I’m used to. Requited love, relationships, connections, making a difference, making memories to last a lifetime…all at my paying day job, my calling, my passion, my joy. We reminisced in the rain for a bit, no umbrellas. I felt every drop and soaked it up like a thirsty leaf in a drought. He said this encounter made his day (he was on his work break in his car). It made my year. 

I refuse to succumb to the bug. We can blame the virus, that year before this one, sit around and complain and focus on the negative and keep injecting ourselves with daily self- and collective-pity, or we can just not. Masks cannot hide smiling eyes nor fully muffle the sounds of laughter. If we chose smiling and laughter. Just choose it. For a moment. An hour. A day. A week. No matter what. Stay in the light. Better yet, be the light. Ignite yourself first. You can use the blue within, the pilot light. 

Happy Wednesday, all! 

💛 Love always! Laura 🙂

Future Moments

I’m thinking of all the little things, love,
that will fill the moments of our lives,
the day-to-day non-mundane
together as husband and wife. 

I’ll be the one to rise first;
you’ll wake to the aroma of coffee
and the comforting presence of my love
filling every cottage nook and cranny.

We’ll ride together to our jobs,
or better yet walk,
to have more time together
because we can’t be apart too long.

We’ll talk and talk and talk
about nothing trivial, 
so much cerebrally spinning,
the topic-queue always full.

So many funny and witty things you’ll say
to bring up my mirth with ease,
and all the teasing silly ways I’ll act
will keep your dimples creased.

We’ll regularly lounge around together
in joggers and pajamas,
always touching, limbs entwined,
reading the same novels. 

I’ll help you out in the kitchen
as you fix us our favorite dish.
I’ll chop all the vegetables
in between all of your kisses. 

We’ll take frequent walks in nature,
always hand in hand,
except when I’m taking my pictures
and you’re smiling affectionately behind my back.

We’ll get the kids moving,
playing games outdoors.
The familiar sound of family laughter
will be natural from mine and yours.

You’ll chase me too
in the spring through the park
like boys used to do at recess
in the school yards.

You’ll catch me (if I let you),
and we’ll tumble down into the grass,
gently with you protecting me,
and your smile will relax

as your eyes become awash
with sentimentality for your beautiful bride,
and you’ll kiss me tenderly
like you did on our wedding night

just before the grandchildren tackle us
and the children call after them,
and you’ll add to your diary
each of these treasured moments

with me that never end…

Our Hydrology

This restless love
that resides in me
is so alive,
constantly bubbling,

a fluid love
that could never be
still or stagnant;
it’s an endless spring,

at a higher level,
repeatedly recharging,
from the artesian aquifer,
naturally rising,

this restless love,
pureness extracting,
crystal goodness
from the heart’s tapping,

endless expression
manifesting,
the need to emote,
overwhelming,

the joy of living,
overflowing,
this quenching love,
forever growing.

Between Worlds

img_0313

For a moment, I get lost,

and in that moment,

I fall still,

sunset upon golden wildflowers

blur the division

between worlds.

My dreams and reality

merge,

forming a portal,

yet in this moment,

I feel the empowerment

of control,

not the control

I foolishly chase

in denial, never able to

keep everything

in its place,

but the glorious satisfaction

of being able to wait,

not in a hurry

to dive into

fate;

no, I think

I will take

a little bit longer.

Somewhere in that blurriness,

I know you

are not going anywhere,

and that makes

this moment

just as special,

to be able to indulge and linger

in an approaching tomorrow

in which I will get to stay

in the moment

with you

for as long

as I want to,

after an eternal

second

“I do.”