There is no greater feeling (other than love, and perhaps forgiveness) than the way the heavens ever so slowly open in the last of the fading rumbles, parting clouds to reveal nothing more than the forgotten, that supreme is all, above and beyond this, that we never were alone through any of it; it makes me almost wish
for another storm…
I realize that this is that love and forgiveness aforementioned taking form.
a work in progress perhaps no one should be for to simply be oneself should happen effortlessly it would seem
it’s work for me though to attempt to undo the disease seeds enemy-planted deep that choke the bloom
contaminating the roots robbing nutrients always pulling at upward movement
i grow my colors lift my face to the sun drink the falling waters offer pollen to everyone
yet i keep coming undone keep feeling invisible tugs
so i work to break free from that which i cannot see that has this grip on me
and little by little with each sinless absolution i sense each time another parasitical root is loosened
directly by my higher power and the words sinking in from finally believing my true-lover
feeling lighter is the way to the self i have begun to realize
to remove the shackles of the world and psyche to return the soul to the sky
It’s true, I’m blooming. I hope you can see: I am blossoming because your love has been seeded in me, and upward is the only direction I can go when these internal whispers of yours hush the world so ours are the only voices I hear when the storms return raging from those traumatic years. Time need not be turned back: unraveling these knots of old patterns, we’re perfecting with practice. I will do more than hold on for with your patience, I am remembering more quickly that this is the present, and I am nestled safely in the nearness of you upon the hillside with the endless view of anywhere I wish to go whilst bringing with me my found, forever home.
A poetic letter to me sent upon a wave and star to reach through time, back to where you are…
This “he” of your fantasies receives your Little Red Balloon and your whispers to be delivered by Moon.
He will continuously clean your mirrors until you see as he does, all of your beauty clearly.
You will weave wedding wildflowers in your hair and feel the wind whip freeingly through the despair.
You will radiate in dresses and feel feminine, barefoot and free upon grass and sand.
Your wavy locks will be teased by the breeze. Your hand outstretched for a companion will receive.
Your heart reopened will be filled to overflowing, exceeding your dreams with God-blessed reality.
Your voice in song will again reach the heavens, your loquaciousness endlessly received with eager anticipation.
That voice in your head and grip around your growth will fall away as he convinces you to love yourself.
Your faith will grow as anticipated; God will see you through as He always has. He knows always what is ahead. He will deliver love if you cut the thread…
You will not give your whole life to this verbally-abusive “man.” Soon you will be filled with enough courage to act. You will come to realize those decades of hurtful words were lies all along; you will come to know your worth.
Who you once long ago hoped instead you were will appear as unwavering truths in every mirror.