If I have to have walls, give me windows big and bright where shadows can dance for hours with the light, windows that open wide to invite the breezes inside. In all mental-health seasons, I so easily slip away for days, lose myself in those sunny sills and rainy panes, faraway thoughts that need not be sorted nor restrained; even my muses need a holiday. The spaces inside my dwelling fade in comparison to the glass and screens I need for my soul to not suffocate. If I have to have walls, give me windows through which to endlessly escape.
Barefoot atop the deep waters, white dress and wild tresses flowing, sunken-ship cemetery of the past beneath, I twirl in this present moment.
The sea is mine as my dance floor, and I skim across to my pick of shores; I explore, I vacation, not searching, just jubilation of losing worries and fears, exaltation of the lightness of the lifting of those stormy years, each moment an eternity to get to the next, each stepping stone sinking with each vine grasped, no beanstalk discovered to bring me to the clouds, only faith each day for decades of a better tomorrow.
That tomorrow is today,
hence the head-raised dance in the sun and in the rain, embracing with wide-opened arms the achievement of having started upon this horizon I only viewed from the beach.
The stepping stones still sink. I just realized the only missing factor was to fully
believe.
They were never needed. Self-love was the only key.
I was always worth it. Eventually, I fought for me and this dream.