With the enchanted key of my irises, I slowly turn the handle leading to the secret garden that I will landscape with my lenses. I gather and paint in my mind a glorious Eden made from what February offers: bright daylilies and sun to burst my heart open at its seams. I will visit this created place of dreams eternally!
I better see if mom is done in the medical building… I try not to frolic too far when I am needed…
a work in progress perhaps no one should be for to simply be oneself should happen effortlessly it would seem
it’s work for me though to attempt to undo the disease seeds enemy-planted deep that choke the bloom
contaminating the roots robbing nutrients always pulling at upward movement
i grow my colors lift my face to the sun drink the falling waters offer pollen to everyone
yet i keep coming undone keep feeling invisible tugs
so i work to break free from that which i cannot see that has this grip on me
and little by little with each sinless absolution i sense each time another parasitical root is loosened
directly by my higher power and the words sinking in from finally believing my true-lover
feeling lighter is the way to the self i have begun to realize
to remove the shackles of the world and psyche to return the soul to the sky
It’s true, I’m blooming. I hope you can see: I am blossoming because your love has been seeded in me, and upward is the only direction I can go when these internal whispers of yours hush the world so ours are the only voices I hear when the storms return raging from those traumatic years. Time need not be turned back: unraveling these knots of old patterns, we’re perfecting with practice. I will do more than hold on for with your patience, I am remembering more quickly that this is the present, and I am nestled safely in the nearness of you upon the hillside with the endless view of anywhere I wish to go whilst bringing with me my found, forever home.
I will bend to please, for I put first others’ needs; overempathy makes me weak.
Forceful winds, whether intended or not, push with invisible pressure until my insides knot.
In opposite direction of secret desires, the flight I am put on with unpurchased ticket takes me higher
but farther on false wings to where I wished to be; nonetheless, I relentlessly look for the positives in my surroundings.
Rock, boulder, my anchor, my center, is never stationary. I move the mountains with the strength of your arms and my unshakable faith in the Almighty.
Bent tree. Flight path. Criss-crossing trajectories. I will bend back. I will disembark. And wherever that leaves me, I will find where the wildflowers are. And if you pluck them all, I will water the seeds in my heart.
I will persevere as me, no matter how many rounds I smartly, politely, or wearily concede. Each of those fertilize bloom potentiality.
I will grow my own wildflower fields until they rise out of me.
Unfurl your light,
one ray at a time,
for there are plenty
of cloudy days and
to regroup strength
the seasons and petals
Keep tenderly nurturing
that inner glowing seed;
no need to even reach
your full potential
this spring –
the journey is in the growing
and the courage developing
all you were designed to be:
simply you, bloomed
into belief of your