Retreat

White flag of surrender
falls to the floor,
no blood shed
for this heart
has been drained 
too many times 
before… 

Ashamed I let you
defeat me when 
I let the sea
empower me
so fully 
again… 

But I will remain a friend
to myself; 
we’ve come so far.
Maybe it’s okay 
to be tired.

To push back
is to go against
the way I was formed, 
the fighter in me feeds
from daily faith restored.

I’ll need a moment,
to return to my corner,
where Love and God
will help me re-armor

not to face you 
but all that you represent,
an after-final-knock-out-
extra-round test

in a life in which 
I feel
I’ve paid my dues
with challenges to overcome
unwarranted, mis- and ab- used. 

I’ll rest awhile, re-group. 
One day at a time. 
Yesterday, too cruel. 

6 thoughts on “Retreat

  1. Ongoing “dues” yield ongoing growth. Uncomfortable, yet every trial serves in ways unrecognized in the moment. Life is not easy for many … and I’d guess those who scoot through do not expand in awareness and connection like those of us who struggle.
    You present a reality reflection – rest between struggles is essential. Wishing you peace as you come forth.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I have witnessed in your past writing a new energy and freedom and happiness, away from abuse and manipulation. I lament the current feeling of fatigue and defeat, and hope you can find a new balance that includes hope and energy along with carrying your cross.

    Liked by 2 people

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